Tell Me Pastor

Fighting temptation

Dear Pastor,

I met a guy recently who seemed like a gentleman. I have a boyfriend but we have been having problems. I met this guy and was physically attracted to him, nothing else. He has no depth to him.

I am a college student so I am attracted to intelligent men and that is why I know it is just physical. I decided to hook him up with my girlfriend because I was seeing someone else. He was however not attracted to her and still wanted to get with me. I messed around with him and felt extremely guilty afterward. I tried to break it off, but temptation is strong.

HAVE FEELINGS

I guess because we had sex I started to have feelings for him. I started having these feelings when my current boyfriend and I had a fight. I confronted this guy to see how he felt about me and he said he thought he was just the man on the side. He also thought that I was serious about this other guy. I do not know what to think of this. He said my feelings for him had changed everything and that he had to think about it.

I went on vacation right after our conversation and he said that we would talk when I got back. I do not know if it is because my boyfriend and I are having problems, but I need an opinion on this issue. And yes, I did protect myself, I always do, no rubber, no sex.

N.B., Florida, USA

Dear N. B.,

You lowered your standard. You said this guy had no depth but yet you ended up in bed with him. You hooked him up with another girl but you end up with him in bed. No wonder he is laughing at you and telling you that he was only on the side. What he is saying to you is that he does not want any lasting commitment. He is surely making a fool of you. He might be uneducated but he surely knows how to get a university student to have sex with him.

FORMAL EDUCATION

What I am trying to tell you is never think you are too smart for any man to get you to go to bed with them. Some guys, who do not have formal education, know how to get around women. Yes, even women with two and three degrees. These guys have been to the "University of the Street" and they beat the women at their own game.

I suggest that you consider what you did as a mistake and end the relationship with this guy. I further suggest that your boyfriend and you go for counselling and try to resolve your differences.

Pastor

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